Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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