Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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