My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
