No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
