She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
