Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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