ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
