So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
