70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize