You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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