girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
