i don't like sucking hair
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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