I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
