At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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