Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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