I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
