i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
