biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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