I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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