it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
