Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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