I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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