And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
