i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
