No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
