Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
