Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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