At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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