I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
