rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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