you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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