Why are handjobs necessary in class?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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