I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
