btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
