If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
