oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Boobs are out for the taking
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
