Christians are straight up FREAKS
what day is it and did you see me today?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
