I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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