he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
