I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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