in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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