i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
