yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
