We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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