Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
