I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
