In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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