i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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