sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize