she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
not ubering you a puppy
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
