she looked like the before picture.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
