bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There r osticjed everywhere
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
