So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
