Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
