whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
