we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
