Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
