The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
