i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize