I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize