dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
