We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
