just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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