as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
