Your mouth is God's brothel.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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