any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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