Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
