I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Buhtt sex?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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